We’ve all felt it. Excitement edged with worry. School is about to be out for the summer, and the pressure is on for memorable summers.
The parents I know, and their children, have very different ideas about what makes a summer vacation magical. For moms like me, summers are some combination of “The Sandlot” and “The Little Rascals” — sweaty kids playing outside in fields or forts. But for lots of kids, summer is late-night gaming sessions with headsets on and RGB lights glowing.
As my sister recently whispered to me at a Mother’s Day gathering, “I’m terrified they’ll turn into zombies.”
SAHMs and the problem of long days
The challenge of summer vacation doesn’t only settle on working parents with older children. I’m a stay-at-home mom with a kinder-aged kid. I even homeschool, so every day is less structured than traditional schooling. But even I inwardly cringed when Leo’s weekly co-op and nature program ended their school year.
Now what?
The weeks stretch on with glacial pace, and every hour of it, two little eyes are looking up at mine, begging for stimulation. Yikes.
My best friend likes to break out into song — “Never Enough” from “The Greatest Showman” — when referring to the insatiable appetites of our children’s need for stimulation.
The magical summer problem
I expect we all stumbled into this summer paradox by having selective memories ourselves — fireflies, bicycles at dusk, basketball games under street lamps and the smell of campfire always in the air. Those golden memories are juxtaposed against modern-day anxieties: glowing screens, sedentary bodies, and fewer hours under a summer sun.
The worry is compounded by the reality of work hours. How can I infuse my kids’ summer with joy, novelty and lasting memories if I’m too busy working during daylight hours?
The answer is often: build magic into their summers with scheduled programs and an epic family trip. Does summer vacation even happen if kids aren’t cannonballing into blue lagoons, partaking in four summer programs, and filling up their dressers with camp t-shirts?
But… what would happen if we just… didn’t?
A good enough summer
I’m starting to wonder if the answer is to relinquish my grip on my kid’s experience of the world. I recently remembered that summer vacation wasn’t always about entertainment and enrichment. It was about freedom. Time unfilled and autonomy placed back in my own lap.
Boredom was real, but it was also the foundation of all the best ideas. That’s still true today, even though the sellers of childhood magic might try to convince us otherwise.
That doesn’t mean I plan to loosen the reins on Leo’s screen time limits. I’m genuinely worried about game-addicted “glow kids” and the shrinking outdoor lives of children. But I do think the answer is to allow some screens, encourage simple pleasures, and allow space for absolutely nothing.
For me, the goal isn’t extraordinary summers. It’s real-life summers — ones where in-person life is just as compelling as digital life. Not because it’s thrilling, but because it’s sensory, physical, and intimate.
We can trade beach vacations for a Friday evening paddling on Fellows Lake, where sailboats splinter a shimmering expanse of water and warm wind whips our hats clean off.
We can sacrifice water parks and blue lagoons for a weeknight visit to the Finley River, where we’ll feel the cold water rushing past our ankles and smell the river moss and damp stones under our feet.
We can trade summer camps for an intentional weekend excursion to Roaring River, where kids learn what it feels like to catch a wriggling rainbow trout and present it to a grinning grandpa.
Sure, sometimes, kids will spend the afternoon customizing avatars or decorating virtual houses, but then spend the evening catching fireflies in the backyard while you grill chicken wings during a cicada chorus.
That’s a good enough summer.
Getting a healthier game plan for screens
If you’ve been thinking about screens, social media, and how all of this is affecting modern childhood, Children’s Mercy and Mercy are hosting a free local event for parents — with free childcare included!
On June 1 at Route 66 Stadium (formerly Hammons Field), parents will hear practical guidance from pediatric clinical psychologists on phones, screen time, and social media while kids participate in a supervised activity hosted by the Springfield Cardinals staff. Light refreshments included.
Thank you, Children’s Mercy, for sponsoring Dear Springfield Mama.
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